I have been hesitating to post this as I find it insensitive, considering the current geopolitical situation – a.k.a. the war in Ukraine – and even more so with the latest developments.
I admit there is something wrong with this way of thinking: why am I struggling now but not before, when conflicts and tragedies were already unfolding? (Although I regularly have bouts of feeling like this)
I don’t know. Maybe because I am European centric despite doing my best not to be?
Because I am thinking about other people around me who might be as well and I don’t want to look insensitive in their eyes?
Because it’s geographically closer to us than many other conflicts ? Although this has been going on for years, many of us are only realising the real situation now that it’s escalating.
Because the latests developments might impact us directly?
But my autistic brain doesn’t deal very well with the idea of something not being complete – in this case, a monthly article – so I decided to write a little account of my month of February and post it to bring some appeasement to my brain.
It has been a bit difficult due to my yearly seasonal mood drop – less light and cold (I need to dare heating the house properly) – but it went relatively well comparatively with other years. I struggled with other causes for the mood drop as well, but I managed pretty well.
There have been some changes that affect me peripherally – my partner changed job, moved town and is moving into a new flat – which I’m dealing with just fine. Admittedly, I haven’t been there yet. I might struggle a bit when I’ll have to get used to a partially different train route and new environment.
But I’m looking forward to finding a new reading spot in the flat, and discover new parks.
I have been keeping up with my weekly moving habits – a little walk at least once a week, two exercises routines on two different days.
I haven’t been reading much, despite my mother lending me two books. I read one friend’s manuscript (in French) and “Death on the Nile”, by Agatha Christie, the adaptation of which I am hoping to go and watch at the cinema.
I struggled to get into it but then enjoyed it, and I am really curious to see the film.
I have been looking for a soothing special interest but it seems my brain can’t stay focused very long so for now it’s watching bits (excerpts?) of The Big Bang Theory on Instagram. It’s fun but it also makes me a bit sad as I’d love to have a group of friends like that. I haven’t matured much regarding this since I left university.
Now that the sun is a bit higher and the light a bit brighter, I hope my brain will get back in working order so that I’ll be able to write the couple of articles I’ve had in mind, and maybe some fiction. I might even take my Sylvanians for a walk to enjoy the flowers and take pictures to post here.
That is, if I can find the point in doing it at all.
3 réflexions au sujet de « February check-in »
Being concerned at the situations in the world is pretty common. Worrying that you’re being insensitive, that all of the worlds problems are yours, or take precdence over yours is unhealthy. You cant change the world, you cant stop wars, end famines or cure diseases. All you can do, is all anyone can do, what you need to day to day, work on the problems affecting you etc.
(Sorry, I never got the notification that you had commented!)
I always worry about being insensitive, maybe because I’ve learnt that I was?
I know I can’t change the world, I also know I could do more than I do – let’s be honest.
I do my best regarding my own difficulties and issues, though, and try to keep in mind that my personal suffering is as important, in the sense that I can’t decide to ignore it because other people have it worse. If I don’t look after myself, I just drown and that doesn’t make the world any better.
Exactly, you need to put yourself and your needs first. The trouble is we have 24 hour news amplifying awareness of whats going on, coupled with social media doing the same and we end up with a horrific situation becoming a personal constant worry because its in your face. I dont worry about being insensitive, in the sense that if I mean to upset someone they’ll know (believe me they’ll know) for everyone else I try and be earnest and if misunderstandings occur will try and work through them.